Love and Loss

The worst thing ever happened last night. Gran died 2 minutes after I called my parents asking about her. I miss her so much already.

Two Monday's ago, my aunt also passed away from a long battle with breast cancer. I had seen her two days before she passed, and I swear I never want to see another person die of cancer. It has to be the most horrible thing in the world.

I've been out of reach of internet and cell phone access for the past 3 weeks, but have been coming out for these incidents. The funeral for my gran is on Tuesday. I can't believe she's died... she's supposed to not die.

My tear ducts are either dried up or too proud at the moment. I just wish death wasn't such a horrible thing. I love you Gran, and always will. x

Too late for lovers

Photo by me. From a shoot I did earlier in the year.

I'm heading to Nelson tomorrow. Gong on the ferry early morning, get in late morning to Picton, then take a bus to Nelson from Picton. Someone will pick me up from the bus stop.

My aunt is pretty bad at the moment. She's hanging by threads. I'm scared that she'll die when I'm there. I know that I have a funeral to go to over summer, it's just a matter of when.

Anyway, Just to let you know this will be the last of my posts for a while. :)

Stay with me

Another gorgeous shot by mediocre-matt.

In one week I will be heading off to Totaranui, the beautiful place I will be working all summer. Unfortunately (or fortunately, if you are my parents) there will be no internet or cell phone reception. I'm thinking of it as being a theraputic time, away from most technologies (I'm bringing my laptop and movies!) I'll be able to concentrate on other things.

I'm planning on running along the beach each day until I'm fit enough to run on the sand right along the beach (2km) without stopping. This is all in a master plan to get into the Air Force as a IO Psychologist, where they pay for me to get my Masters degree. All they need in return is to work year for year they paid for me at uni, plus one extra year. I'm thinking it would be a good place to find a nice man too. I'd have to do a 12 week training course which is all fitness and stuff, that everyone has to do... I'm not fit. I'm not a sporty kind of person. But it could be interesting.

Mum loves that I am thinking about applying for the air force. My mum, dad and brother all have their Private Pilots licences and my brother is doing aeronautical engineering with Air NZ, and I have always held that I would never do anything to do with Flying (because I am my own self thankyou very much *stomps foot*). But this sounds too good to be true. And it probably is. They only have about 6 Psychologists working for them, so it will be hard to get in to.

Anyway, if I don't blog before I go into the wilderness, I hope everyone has a good November, and a Merry Christmas. Hopefully I will be able to blog, but who knows at the moment?

Love xx

Skipalong

How good is 500 Days of Summer? It's so beautifully crafted, and every shot looks like a beautiful photograph.

Summer: I woke up one morning and I just knew.
Tom: Knew what?
Summer: What I was never sure of with you.

"Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin, and they end, with no lasting memories made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life. May 23rd was a Wednesday."

I love those movies that are so real, but make you think... what if you did talk to that guy in the coffee shop briefly?

You Again

These beautiful images are from mediocre-matt on DeviantART. He seems to have such an eye for taking beautiful photos with gorgeous lighting. I love this. Many of his photos are beauty shots. They make me happy.

In other news, I bought Frankie Magazine's "The Photo Album" Issue - it's so inspirational and has some really gorgeous shots. Makes me want to go take photos right now, but I have to study for finals.

Trouble is a Friend

How beautiful are these photos from _cassia_ on Flickr? She seems to have an awesome colouring approach to her photos that make them look old and pastel. Beautiful. And they make me happy. She also has two etsy shops: Lola's Room and Cassia Beck Vintage Inspired Photography. I know I would love to own one (or three) of these to hang above my bed.

Right now I'm studying hard (hehe) on my psychology courses... I have to finish writing notes for this course before the end of today! I'm also half dreading and half excited about the return to Wellington this Sunday. Really don't want to deal with my flatmates, but really want to see other friends before they head home for summer.

Hope everyone is having a good week so far. :) x

Travel in Time

New Hair! - I decided to go a little lighter for summer so she put really subtle foils through it. I really like it and it feels so much more healthy. Note the fake ray-bans I got for $30.
Now I wanna fill you in on a little one of my favourite products. St Ives Swiss Vanilla Body Wash and Moisturiser. It smells SO great and feels like silk. So lovely.

I also bought these heels... they're like T-bars but heels! And actually quite comfortable. I thought it was about time I invested in some good black heels. I also saved on buying a sequened black vest. Kinda obsessed with sequins at the moment.

Charlie

I am loving covering books at the moment, and I really need to buy some brown paper, some material and get my crafty hands out to cover my books I've got lying around. They really do make an interesting look, and makes them look uniform as well! I have a bunch of bright orange penguin classics that look horrible by themselves, but covered like this would be so cute! Book covers from Book City Jackets.

Also slightly dying inside for these cute necklaces. All from Wildpair. That also means I need to go and buy that jewelery holder that I liked so much...

I'm getting my hair done again on Friday (it's been far too long, being a student sucks when getting your hair done costs $110 here, let alone in the city where it's double that price). So I'm thinking I'll get it a little lighter for summer... about this shade.

And finally, I'm in love with vintage suitcases. I neeeed to go thrift shopping and buy some. Don't they just look awesome as decor? And you can use them as storage! Win-win!

Ahh... it feels good to have my creativity back.

Keep Breathing

When did growing up start to become so hard? Where was the transition from school kid to full blown adult who has to deal with problems yourself? I don't remember it happening.

Being an adult sucks. You have to worry when you're an adult.

Currently I'm worrying about where on earth I'm going to live next year. My flatmates, who I thought were friends, end up saying they don't want to flat with me next year. Oh, but they're staying in the flat that I found for them. No sweat. But if I were to stay, they'd easily move. Their reason? I'm sad. Heh. a) I had surgery this semester, b) my aunt is actually DYING and c) I have no one to talk to. Would have been nice to have someone to talk to, no? Some support maybe? Selfish.

So when I get back from my summer job, I get to sleep on a friends couch and try and find a flat that needs me. I finish work pretty much the week before I start classes. When am I going to be able to do that? To find a bed, a room, a life?

Things would be so much easier if I weren't by myself.

But I guess life happens, right? You have to get through it one way or the other. Hopefully some good will eventually come my way. Maybe my karma will change. I've always been good to people, yet nothing good really comes my way.

I'm alive

Above, one of my favourite people in the world, Jaime. We're such idiots. Love that girl. x

Sorry about the lack of updates, we've been scrounging internet, it seems like someone has hacked into our net in the middle of the night and stolen it. Yes. Not cool.

I started reading Eclipse (third book of the Twilight series) Friday afternoon. Finished it at 1am on Saturday. Good thing I don't have the next one yet, I have a test tomorrow on parasites for Biomed, so I've had to study for that.

Speaking of biomed, I really don't know how they expect us to remember the names of those things. It's a first year paper, and I really couldn't give a rats ass about the whole thing. I only took it as a filler. Probably should have just taken marketing in the end. Would have been more interesting. Now I'm just paranoid whenever I get a stomach ache that I've eaten a worm of some kind.

Two weeks of term left though! So excited to be going home over study break for two weeks, it will be so much easier to study at home, without my flatmates distracting me.

Then after my exams (I finish on the 14th, last day of exams, and seeing Rhys Darby, Murry from Flight of the Conchords, on the 13th. Yeah. Bad luck huh?) I'm heading up north to visit my friend Yasmin! Where she will show me some of the sights of the north, and a good time in Tauranga hopefully! Woo! Visit her blog. I then start work at Totaranui on the 1st December, my parents come up before Christmas and leave just before New Years, and I've got work till the end of February. 12 whole weeks!

How I know you

Photo by me, edited with Poladroid.

Scary stuff today with the earthquake and tsunami! I was really worried for my parents but they seem to be fine, mum just text me that they'd got off their lovely cruise around the Aitutaki Lagoon, and had a lovely lunch on One Foot Island (below, me on One Food Island from our trip in '07... oh so pretty!)

I didn't even go to uni today, it was a wet miserable day so I stayed in bed, then met up with my friend who was here for the World of Wearable Arts show. Had coffee in a cozy bookshop cafe, and then had a look around some shops. Not that I have any money at the moment, I need to start saving for summer clothes!

When the lights fade

This beautiful photo by Beth Retro - I had a hard time choosing one to post, she has so many breathtakingly beautiful soft photographs that just make me want to run through a wheat field in a pretty dress with balloons and a bow in my hair smelling a flower and reading a book. Yup. All that.

Title of this post is a song by Chris Mann - gorgeous man with a gorgeous voice. Look him up.

Have a good week. :)

Sleeping Sickness

I'm now officially obsessed with Juliette Hogan, NZ designer who was at ANZFW this week... how beautiful are her clothes? Since I can't afford them, however, I shall get my mum to make me a beautiful lace circle skirt like the one above. So pretty and feminine.

My mother and father flew to Rarotonga in the Cook Islands for two weeks. I'm super jealous, obviously. I went there in 2007 with my grandma and mum, and it was such a lovely trip. We have local friends there now, and everyone is just so friendly. You meet someone on the bus and they give you a basket full of pawpaw the next day.

I haven't posted my heels yet, but here they are:

Aren't they gorgeous? <3

Blue Lips

First two from Fashionology [shop], last three from Deadly Ponies Precious.

These beautiful pieces are from two different stores, one is an e-bay store with completely awesome jewelery, the other is a NZ store advertised in Black magazine, which I of course looked up. Aren't they BEAUTIFUL?

I'm avidly following the fashion week coverage, I just want to BE there. Hopefully will be there next year.

Today I found a cute designer second hand store! There are beautiful pieces in there from all around the world, which is so exciting! I'll be keeping my eyes peeled in there. So many cute shoes! I tried on a couple of rings, one of which only fitted on my little finger, but she said it was bought in New York.

Isn't it funny how I'm still undecided as to what I want to do with my life? I guess I'll just finish my Psychology/Management/HR degree and then see what happens! Only a year and a half to go... really no big deal. Yikes. I guess once I travel I'll eventually figure myself out.

Better get back to studying, I have had two tests this week, one more to go!

Letter Read

Pictures of my neighbor Siobhan, a shoot we did a while back. You can see the others at my Deviantart. :)

I finally got my shoes today! They're beautiful! I'm trying to wear them in... maybe an hour a day to get used to them (the height... I feel like a giant!) but they're so pretty I don't even care.

How was everyone's weekend? I got in a grump because I missed the courier man for said shoes, then didn't study and read The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. Amazing book, but depressing. But then I think, well... I guess I was studying for my Abnormal Psychology test (tomorrow)! I also decided to brave town with my friend Jaime, which wasn't a good idea - it was TOO packed thanks to the All Blacks vs. Wallabies game (which we won!).

I'm thinking about buying tickets to see World of Wearable Arts next week... there are still some available, and even the obstructed view is good. But I'll have to go alone, as no one wants to go. I guess it's the next best thing to fashion week.

In other news, if there are any Wellingtonian's reading this, who would like a photographer to photograph them, I would love to! I need to get some experience up, and it would be great to have some cool people who actually want to pose for me. :)

Never Neverland

These are from a lil website called Neverland Collective, two brother and sister designers from New Zealand. I love these photographs! They sell beanies and pretty jewelery. I'm not sure if you can buy online yet, but I'll be keeping an eye out for their clothes.

So Long

Photograph by me. :)

OH MY GOSH. You know those shoes I posted and raved on about?! Well... I just bought them! At a fraction of the price! They were $200 and no way was I buying shoes for that price... but then I got an email from Royal T informing me of their massive clearout sale! The shoes got slashed by over half price! Down to only $70! Well, obviously I couldn't let that go. Oh they are so pretty! And comfy! And I can't wait to wear them around.

I also just saw a Tweet from ANZFW telling me about all these half price designer clothes on sale this weekend... in Auckland. Damn.

In other fashion-related news, I'm going to Toi Whaakari tonight to see my flatmate and another friend modelling for the designers there. There is said to be multiple corsets and frills. I'm excited, and all for the fraction of the cost of Wearable Arts.

Ode to...

I've been VERY SLOWLY scrolling through the huge amount of images from NY Fashion Week... These are a couple of my favourite pics - the first two are Donna Karen (the woman can do no harm, most perfect ready-to-wear ever!). I love the draping and colours - such a soft pallet. The last three are by Tracy Reece. I just love the bright colours and deep V necks in this collection! And so many prints! Images from style.com.

No doubt I will be taking inspiration from the Spring/Summer '10 ready-to-wear collections. I've already got my eye on multiple peach and beige items, and have already invested in a gorgeous halter-neck yellow dress for summer. I like that the hemlines are getting longer in the dresses - was getting sick of having to decline pretty dresses because I am just not comfortable having my bum out to the world. Although, apparently at Paris Fashion Week, according to Garance Dore the 'no pant' look is in. Aka, very short shorts which show a bit of bum cleavage, with long cardi's or blazers over the top. Could never do it. By the way, if you haven't been to Garance' site before, it's gorgeous!

I went to the gym today to get a personal programme set up. This was mostly to get me knowing what each of the weight machines do (I had no idea how to use them, so this was good). There are a couple of scary looking contraptions, but it's all in the name of a bikini body for summer! I'm going to get long lean legs, buns and thighs, hot, tight abs (thanks to the amazingness that is swiss ball), and slim arms.

I'll find a way

I am in love with this skirt made by a NZ designer, albie on Etsy.com. It's a full circle skirt without seams, and she even makes to order! I'm so excited to buy it, but will have to wait till my tax return is back to buy it. I'm also scared of wearing it in Wellington due to the wind, but I'm sure a pair of tights or bike shorts (oh how I want lace bike shorts) will fix that. I'm thinking it will look gorgeous with a simple white tank and my black blazer or denim jacket. It's just so adorable! And colours for spring are pinks, apricots and creams.

I'm also loving animal prints for spring... but I just can't bring myself to buy them for myself. I have a feeling they just won't work. Maybe small accessories of animal print will work though.

I am also loving studding detail, especially on such a simple skirt as this (Scrapbook skirt, $40 from Wildpair). Mixing up grungy pieces with feminine is oh so hot.

STILL dying for those Max jeans, which will be out in a couple of weeks, according to the sales lady. A lot of people want them too, also according to said sales lady.

Collide

My friend Jaime and I, winter 09.

I had a lovely day today! After drinking last night (absinthe and sing star Abba!) and waking up to having pancakes and french toast for breakfast and lunch, the flat went to Central Park in Brooklyn. Wellington, New Zealand, that is. We all got into our bikinis and sunbathed while children screamed and played on the playground and... an awesome flying fox! It was so much fun!

Jaime is supposed to be coming over tonight to have facials and do our nails and watch movies... I'm thinking Wall-E.

Hope everyone had a lovely weekend! Back to uni tomorrow.

The Way I Am

I went shopping today! With some friends who aren't as close as some, but they are lovely and make me laugh (which is what I need in friends). I might be flatting with two of them next year. Anna is my gym buddy (with whom I must go to the gym with tomorrow), Helena is so Emo, but she's cute, and Andy I don't know as well, but she's lovely.

So I bought some cut-off denim shorts from Jay Jays (I know! I haven't been in there since ages ago, but the clothes have improved, I even liked 2 or 3 of the summer dresses, which I may go back for), some sateen skinny pants from Glassons (the cheaper version of the ones I posted a few posts back, and fit perfectly) to wear with my denim jacket, and a cute autumn dress which is grey with red flowers, which I'll wear tights and flats with.

I'm so so so excited for summer! I'll be living on the beach, can go swimming everyday, walks along the beach at night, and reading lots of books! There is no internet or cell phone access, so it's going to be such a serene time for me to find myself, and find some peace.

Nearly the end of the first week back at uni! I'll need to start studying for tests this weekend. I have two tests on the 22nd, one for Abnormal psych and one for Biomed, and one on the 25th, Brain and Behaviour. Talk about all in one go. But only 5 weeks until study week! Then exams, and SUMMER.

p.s. I tried on those beige pumps, but for some reason one foot is all scrunched up in them, so I decided against buying them. They're still pretty though. The other heels are sold out. Boo.

A Birds song

Oooh, I so want these acid wash jeans from the new Max collection! View the lookbook! Aren't they just perfect for summer though? Light wash, but something different. I'm not a huge fan of the distressed look, so these are perfect. Plus, Max jeans fit me oh-so-well. My black pair are worn out (need to make them into shorts, and dye them back to black... bleaching them made them turn red!), and my other black pair are awesome. All for $99 NZD.

The Only Fault

Images by Me. :)

Does anyone else get sick of being tall? I know a lot of short people hate being short, but what about us tall girls? I'm 5'9" and hate being as tall as I am, however, if I were shorter I'd look a bit rounder. I have to buy larger clothes, because I'm a normal weight, for my height (though I'd love to lose about 10kg). But it's wanting to wear HEELS that makes being tall such a challenge.

I tried on the first pair of heels I posted in this entry today, they were super comfortable, but SO high. Next to the sales girl (who looked about 5') I was a giant towering over her at about 6'5" (I'm normally 5'9" or so). They were beautiful heels, I just wish I were shorter, or at least, I had a man who is a basketball player (which, I guess isn't really going to happen too soon) to make me feel comfortable wearing heels that high.

Friends are also a problem when it comes to wearing heels. They complain about me being too tall, and that I should just wear flats (which are bad for my flat feet anyway... thanks dad, for blessing me with all the crappy things while leaving my brother with 20/20 vision, perfect arches, and straight teeth).

So that is my rant about heels. And height. Feel free to comment your opinion.